Our society?s perspective of what is an acceptable way to look and behave is based upon a set of ideas which have developed over the generations. Throughout the ages, our standards have derived mainly from the influence of our culture, religion and family tradition, but these days it seems that the biggest influences seem to be the fashion, music and movie industries. 

Problems with body image and eating disorders are increasing in our world because everyone is trying to fit into the image that is projected upon us by the sources mentioned above. If we don?t fit that image, we start to believe we are ugly and worthless and from there, we will go to any extent to achieve the look we desire.

Fortunately, the measurement of a tiny waistline is not equal to the value of our inner worth, for that is immeasurable by any superficial means. Unfortunately, the majority of people believe our value lies in the external image we project and are prepared to sacrifice their own sense of inner worth to fit the image society demands. Is this because we don?t care about our inner worth, or because we don?t even know what inner worth is? Perhaps we neglect that aspect of our inner selves because along with dictating the way we ought to look, society has also dictated the way we should evaluate our self worth, and this is usually based on the amount of approval and recognition we receive from others.

It would be unfair to blame the fashion, music and movie industries alone for our desire for external approval, lack of inner self fulfillment and self conviction. Society also has played a huge role by teaching us that it is wrong to value yourself, to acknowledge your own strengths, to give yourself credit and recognition when it?s due and above all, we are taught to believe that it is wrong to love ourselves. I would like to share an example to illustrate my point.

One evening I cooked a large dinner for some family members who praised me for my efforts after eating and commented that my food was delicious. I replied ?Thank you, I know I am a good cook! My food always turns out well because I love cooking!? One of my guests looked at me as if I was the most self-centered, arrogant and egotistical person he?d even met! The funny thing is I wasn?t being egotistical at all! I was simply acknowledging my own accomplishment. I firmly believe that the more you are able to acknowledge your own strengths, the stronger they become.

I developed an eating disorder because I had no absolutely no sense of self love and I valued myself according to the way other people saw me. I looked for recognition through weight loss and quickly realized that no matter how much weight you lose, your personal issues do not improve at all, they get worse! This automatically leads to even more confusion, frustration and emptiness. All you feel able to do from that point onwards is keep going on and on, losing more and more weight until you become oblivious to what is really real in your situation.

It is so easy to become preoccupied with your ideal and the intention to achieve a specific body image, that you miss the point of the problem which begun this downward spiral in the first place. In many ways, occupying yourself with dieting and weight loss is just another indirect way to distract yourself from facing your inner issues. Just as some people use drugs, alcohol, sex or cigarettes to deal with their issues, people with eating disorders use food and body image as a way to avoid facing the real issue.

What is the point of living if we have no sense of true inner worth? Why is it so important to us to fit the image projected by a society which has no real foundation in the first place? Do you think you have a foundation in your life? What do you think the foundation of society is? Think about it!  I mean everywhere you turn; all you are faced with is negativity, hate, anger, greed, jealousy, envy, war, destruction and poverty. We are just a huge mass of power crazed people trying to survive amongst this turmoil we call ?life?.

What is life anyway if we have to live in such misery? Why do we hurt ourselves and almost kill ourselves with eating disorders to have recognition from other people who probably do not even know who they are themselves? Why do we keep looking outside of ourselves for love, shouldn?t we begin by looking inside ourselves first? There is certainly enough pain in the world without you inflicting any more unnecessary pain upon yourself; it is time to stop NOW. 

As of today, you do not have to be someone you are not. You are unique in your being, we all are. But as a human race, it seems we have nothing else to listen to but messages which that are forced upon us, convincing us that external beauty and material pleasures bring us happiness, acceptance, recognition and power. Who can blame us when we have nothing else of substance to believe in?

The issues in our world are becoming more and more devastating as the days pass and in order to begin healing the world, we must begin with as healing ourselves as individuals. If we each took responsibility for ourselves and our issues, the world would change on its own as a result. It is not that difficult. You are alive today and it is time to start living before it is too late.

We all have the right to live in our bodies naturally as they are, with full acceptance. You do not have to be overweight; you were born with a perfect system that dictates when, what and how much you should eat. If you respond according to those hunger signals then your weight should remain at a normal, healthy level without you having to starve yourself to stay slim.

I was once anorexic and bulimic and I can honestly tell you that I did not become overweight when I stopped my habits. My body took its own time to heal, I learned to listen to hunger and thirst signals when they arrived and I feel great about whom I am and my shape. I no longer feel the need to torture myself or live up to an unrealistic image of what a woman should be. I will admit that it did take some time to adjust to new way of thinking and I had to let go of the negative and self-degrading thoughts I had become accustomed to. I was successful and if I can do it, then anyone can.

Recovering from an eating disorder is not an easy task, but it is easier to live with than knowing that you are slowly killing yourself because you are afraid of gaining weight. It can be tough and confusing at times, but you will get through it. It is not impossible with a conscious decision to heal and some hard work and determination. My dad once told me ?nothing comes for nothing and to really be able to appreciate something, you have to work hard to achieve it? He was right!

During recovery, you will learn to love yourself and your body more and more each day and it feels great to be able to release yourself from all of the stress of constantly obsessing with food and weight issues. Eventually you will see yourself, other people and the world through different eyes and all of the pain, confusion, and frustration will slowly fade, of that you can be sure.

Make your own life worth living; no-one else will do that for you. Stop giving away your own power and begin to know yourself deeply for who you are inside instead of falling prey to the superficial aspects of life. Eventually we all get old, our looks fade our teeth and hair fall out and all of a sudden life seems so short. Don?t waste another breath, start living NOW. Be who you are inside, and let that inner beauty radiate out. When you know yourself and love yourself, there is no other love that compares. Be responsible for yourself and your own life and redefine the meaning of beauty and be the example for others to follow, then other people will follow their example and others will follow them until it spreads all over! One by one we can redefine beauty! One by one we can change the world!

Yours in Light