There is a story of a Zen master who would sneak up behind his students and then whack them on the head. When he was asked how he could be so cruel, he replied he was teaching his pupils the most important lesson on how to be happy. The Zen master explained that the key to happiness is being fully present - Now! - and had his students not been pre-occupied with fretting over the past and worrying about the future, they would have noticed him approaching.

So, why is being fully in the present moment the first and most important - and often also the most difficult - step to achieving happiness?

The answer is simple; when you are fully present, you can't be mulling over memories from way back when. You won't be holding grudges, mentally re-living fearful moments time and time again or blaming what so-and-so did or said to cause your lack of self-confidence.

If you're fully in the Now, you also can't be getting worked up about what to wear at the interview tomorrow or how to say what is on your mind at the meeting this afternoon. Yes, it's ok to consciously plan the future or to assess the past, as long as you are in control of your thinking processes.

Every time you think repetitive, uncreative thoughts, you are releasing chemicals into your system that make you feel bad. They stop and slow down the flow of natural life energy. They stoop your shoulders, drag your feet and wipe the smile off your face.

Each moment you waste by focusing on the negative things that happened or the frightful things that may happen, is a moment less of happiness.

So, what to do?

I suggest that at the end of each day, you get yourself into a peaceful state of mind and think over any incidents that are bothering you. Figure out what you can learn from them, how you can grow - and then let go... especially when the behavior of others is what is really worrying you.

Most of the time, trying to change others is not only futile, but the greatest cause of frustration, anger and hate.

Equally, if you have something ahead of you that you are apprehensive about, take some time to sit down and think what you can do to be your very best. Do those things you can and then let go of the rest.

Once you've got the past and the future out of the way, take a moment to notice how light your present has become. Take a deep breath and look around you. Notice the colours, the sounds and aromas: enjoy the fact that you are alive and gaining more and more control of your life.

Someone once said that the past is another country. But the most beautiful country is the one you are living in right here, right now. Happiness is right in front of you, just waiting to be noticed.